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It is a great aberration and betrayal before God for a man, father, husband to use belt, wire, blow, knife, slap, or any domestic violent means on his wife. Such a man is worthy to bag an award of a duplex at Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital. Or rather , he can go there himself and tell them to detain him there, until he is corrected. The reverse is the case in India and in a complete Christian home.
A woman beaten, verbally assaulted, cut off from friends, and/or financially isolated is no longer a wife but a slave. In India, women were authorised by the Minister to beat up her abusive spouse with a “mogri”, the wooden bat traditionally used to wash clothes.
At a mass wedding ceremony in the town of Garhakota on April 29, this minister of panchayati raj and rural development in the central Indian state gifted nearly 700 brides “mogris”. Inscribed on each bat was this message: “Sharabiyon ke sutara hetu bhent, police nahi bolegi” (A gift to beat up drunkards with, the police will not intervene).
“Whenever I visit any rural or urban area in my constituency, women complain about their husband’s drinking habit. They inform me that whatever little they earn is snatched away by their husband for alcohol. They (women) are also subjected to physical violence,” Bhargava explained to the Press Trust of India. “The government or police alone would not be able to solve this problem.”
The minister recommends that the women first explain to their husbands the health risks involved in drinking. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the “mogri”.
I want to believe, the Indian case is a clear manifestation of substance abuse by the man of the home and wife beater. But what could be the root cause of beating a wife , the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh?
Men who have been in homes where wife battering occurred as children are more likely to grow up into wife batterers themselves. I am an exception. I am a living witness of a phenomenal lifestyle of my father of blessed memory, Mr Inah Michael Ibrahim who never raised his hand on my mother, not even a minor jaw push or slap or may be a major beating leading to broken bones or worse.
Then why should I ?
Growing up as a child , my friends could testify, I have not fought outside home. If at all I found myself amidst beefing friends or pears am always a mediator. This very fashion and style of life yielded my father a highly respected membership in Peace and Conflict Resolution committee for aspiring politician in Igalamela/Odolu LG of Kogi State. Besides I have settled issues in many homes, even before accepting Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour, so am too educated.
I would rather find no meaning in life as a human being existing on the surface of the earth , professing close affinity with Christ Jesus in the Holy Spirit than raising hand on my beloved wife.
A prominent Nigerian, Lawyer, Femi Fani Kayode who was the Special Assistant (Public Affairs) to President Olusegun Obasanjo from July 2003 until June 2006, Minister of Culture and Tourism of the Federal Republic of Nigeria from 22 June to 7 November 2006, Minister of Aviation from 7 November 2006 to 29 May 2007 expressed on his Facebook how to care for a lady wife , mother and a virtuous woman.
“ Ladies are like race horses: they must be mastered, tamed, trained, exercised and regularly serviced. They are like race cars: their engine must be revved at least twice a day.”
“They are like precious jewels and rare gems: they must be cherished, shielded, guarded, protected and defended.”
“They are like little children: they must be given attention, pampered, encouraged, loved, made to feel on top of the world and given everything that they need and want.”
“They are like magnificent works of art: they must be appreciated and valued.”
“If you want to keep a lady, live for her alone, worship the ground she walks on, treat her like a Queen, tolerate and accept her idiosyncrasies, weaknesses and excesses and love her for who and what she is, warts and all!”
“And one more thing: once in a while write her a romantic poem, serve her breakfast in bed, give her flowers, buy her the most expensive and exotic perfumes, take her shopping and in the evening cook a candle-lit dinner for her.”
“Do all this and she will stand with you through thick and thin.”
“That’s my secret and that’s the key!” : Said FFK
There is no gain, trivializing terrible realities in a relationship or marriage.
If you are a wife or husband who enjoyed hurting your spouse, then act, lamenting as if you are the person being hurt, beaten or battered. You are worse than devil. This is the worst disaster in marriage or relationship. And if such person remains in the relationship or marriage full of assault or battery without at least :-
1. Speak to your nearest and dearest friends or colleagues or family – whom you know shall understand the situation and stand by you
2. Arm yourself with knowledge of the nearest Police Station and Hospital numbers. Ensure that you have the mobile and quick reach number for the Police.
3. Speak to a lawyer
4. Speak to a mental and emotional Counsellor
But, of course, there is no level of wife battering that is acceptable and any wife who has suffered battering should get help for it immediately. Personally I will suggest You better run for your dear life, don’t make any further attempt to raise the dead.
Malachi 2:16b—“…and [I hate] him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.’”
However, I found fascinating the masterpiece of the founder, Peculiar Church of Glory Anyigba/ Senior Pastor John Enekele’s opinionated editorial on facebook expressing his views about how he beats his wife compared to what is obtainable in our generation.
“I don’t use belt, I don’t use abusive words, I don’t use sex starvation to beat her, I don’t use blow, I don’t use kick. I am a king & married to a queen. Such don’t happen in a palace like ours.” : Enekele said
” This is the way I ‘beat’ my wife and I am recommending it you. The reason why my Queen can’t leave me is because she is enjoying the beating. This is the way I beat her. I beat her by:
B – BEAUTIFYING HER,
E – ENCOURAGING HER,
A – ASSISTING HER, and
T – TREATING HER AS A QUEEN.
No woman can die in your hands no matter how many times you ‘beat’ her in a day as long as you do it the way I do it to my Queen. I know this is the way women will love their husbands to ‘BEAT’ them.” : He added
– INAH Stephen Eyiene, Idah